o/ — Vampire that’s dirt poor, doesn’t have a sprawling...

1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
sch4r4
the-quasar-hero

Vampire that’s dirt poor, doesn’t have a sprawling manor or vast riches accumulated by interest. Can’t afford those black leather boots they really want. Travels as a bat to save money not cuz they like it.

lamborghinea-pig

Vampire that was super ugly in life so the vampiric glow up just made em a solid 5

the-quasar-hero

Vampire too socially awkward to seduce/compel ppl to feed off them. Has to have their Chadier vamp friends to do it or steals blood bags from the hospital.

lamborghinea-pig

Vampire who turned into mist in a steam room and couldn't figure out which parts were him vs water, so he got stuck there for weeks

asingularcanadian

vampire who's afraid of flying so anytime they turn into a bat it makes them incredibly queasy

the-quasar-hero

Vampires having a “wine” tasting trying out different types of blood, discussing various textures and tastes and stuff like that. But one vampire honestly can’t tell the difference cuz they don’t like the taste anyway.

book-hag

vampires who don’t like the taste of blood so they have to disguise it by adding artificial flavors (fruit punch, watermelon, strawberry kiwi, NEVER blue raspberry lest it change the color too much and the other vampires judge them) in order to stay properly hydrated

the-quasar-hero

Vampire that was obsessed with skincare when they were human, but now mirrors don’t work for them so they’re constantly looking for ways to see their reflection.

asingularcanadian

vampire that doesn't really need a familiar because when they were human they were just some working class schmuck used to taking care of their own business so they just pal around with them instead

emotionalllamas

Vampire that brings a night light to coffin cause they’re to scared of the dark

the-quasar-hero

Vampire that while in bat form hangs out with regular bats thinking they’re also vampires. This goes on for weeks before they realize they’re just normal animals.

the-quasar-hero

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